Dear Joey, Michael, & Annie... Christmas may seem a bit different this year. Just like so many things in the past few months...bedtimes, curfews, driving, me adjusting to the new normal of raising BIG kids (read: crying my eyes out for no "apparent" reason while my mind goes back and forth of you as a toddler and then you leaving for college), have made me realize that our holidays will be forever changed.
This year is the first in which you all know that Santa doesn't actually fly a sleigh from the North Pole to deliver your gifts! I have so many feelings about this, like how excited I am not to find random people to sign your gift tags or hide the "Santa" wrapping paper so you wouldn't figure out that I was actually wrapping all the gifts! Or threatening you within an inch of your life not to ruin it for each other! Plus I've never been much of a milk and cookies girl, so this year I vote for Champagne and cupcakes!
But then there is the side of me that is getting comfortable with the heartache that comes as we say goodbye to some chapters of life and welcome in new ones. There is the heartache that this is our last Christmas with all of us living under one roof. There is the heartache of no one putting carrots in the snow for the reindeer to nibble during their long journey or checking the "Santa tracker" online to see how far away he is. There is also the absence of your giggles in the bedroom waiting to see what Santa left under the tree on Christmas morning. I would be lying if I said this wasn't hard for me! It's hard because it went by so fast! It's hard because Christmas brings the gift of magic that we all need to experience in life. It's hard because I have loved the traditions we have built around Christmas that will change with age!
So as this Christmas approaches there are some important things I need you to know. First I want you to know that my tears are tears of blessing. My tears represent how grateful I am that you three are mine, so please be patient with me as I shed them over the next few years and possibly make you sit through a reading of Twas The Night Before Christmas in your pj's. Second please remember that Christmas is really a time for us to rest in knowing that the world was blessed with Christ, a Christ who came to be with us and love us. Christmas trees and candy canes are fun, but the real gift was, and always will be, the gift of Jesus.
And most importantly I want you to know that my hope for you now and always is that you will never be too old, or too grown up to search the skies on Christmas Eve!