Life is full of change. Some changes are easier than others. Some are like the ebb and flow of the tide and you know you just need to make little adjustments to feel comfortable again. Others hit you differently and you just know down deep that life will never be exactly the same again. Change is beautiful and change is hard.
Some stages of life bring more change than others. This past August I found myself saying goodbye to my middle child after settling him into his new dorm room as he began a new chapter of his life. I have three amazing kids and had done this two years before with his brother and will probably do this two years down the road with his sister. Here I was, smack dab in the middle of a season of life that is filled with change. Change for them and change for me. In many ways I found myself feeling as though the best adventure of my life, raising them, was coming to an end. I wanted to punch anyone who told me how wonderful it is to be “empty nesters” and that the best years of my life are ahead of me. They may be right, but I will need more time to believe this.
If there is one important lesson I am learning in these years of constant change, it’s how important it is to be present in the moment. To embrace the feelings and allow yourself to mourn the change so that when it comes time to move on you are fully ready to welcome the new! Even the Bible teaches us in Ecclesiastes “to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven”.
Walking away from Michael on that day last August was one of the most difficult and bittersweet things I have ever done. I remember feeling so excited for him and so very sad all at the same time. Exactly like the day I dropped him off at Kindergarten so many years before. I reminded myself as I walked away with tears rolling down my face that these tears are an important part of this journey called motherhood. I looked down at my phone and sent him a text saying “I love you! You’ve got this!!!” A few moments later he replied, “I love you too, U got this”!
In a few days, all of my kids will be home together again for a bit, eating together, laughing together, and probably throwing a few snowballs at each other. I guess this is the beginning of a new ebb and flow.